What would you say is your personal style? She asked in conversation while we were having lunch.
I must say I wanted to laugh- out loud! Not at her of course, but because I know I am actually so out of my depth.
Because right now, I don’t even know that I have personal style. I feel like ever since I’ve gained so much weight, in such a weird way- meaning, I have this protruding belly that just stands out.
It’s not like gaining the weight gradually and over all or most parts of your body. Do you know what I mean?
I think of a woman here, bigger but beautiful because she fills out the clothes she wears fully!
Like, I was a size 12 and now I am a size 14 or 16 – you know! Gradually! Evenly!
I have to buy a large because even though the extra-large would fit better around the belly, it would be too big around the shoulders.
So, it is a total nightmare!
When I first I started to notice this change in my body, of course I had to get new clothes- mainly, ones that would fit. At the same time, I felt rather uncomfortable and self-conscious about the changes.
Needless to say, I adapted my style without even knowing it.
I stopped dressing me and I started dressing my body.
I have not changed; I still like the things I use to- so I guess I can say:
I kinda shelved my personal style.
Style is something each of us already has, all we need to do is find it – Diane Von Furstenberg
Every time I think of buying something I have to decide if it will work for the body type I have now- and in most cases settle for the thing that’s nice but not really what I wanted or would have gone for in the past.
I have to see it on me to make a final decision.
I buy a lot of cardigans now, so that I can feel like I can hide in it (not that you really can)
I noticed this about myself.
Of course, when its warmer, there’s no cardigan and I just have to be braver lol
I just feel like I’m out of my depth and I really must work hard to feel and look my best.
I know it might sound so hectic, but I am really just incapable of dealing with this. It really clashes with my entire personality. I am not the person that wears “loose” clothing. Not that I wear bodycon things, rather just body fitting as appose to lose fitting, I still have that mentality because it’s who I am, but now I know about the belly.
So, I make adjustments, because I feel like I have to.
Here’s something we still laugh about in my house to this day.
My son was born a tiny little baby, he weighed 2.9 kg’s – so tiny!
He has (or now that he is 23, I should say had) a small frame. So, he always wore for his age group or smaller- and of course as his Mom I fed him a certain way.
When he started pre- school, I worked full time, so he would go to his grandma after school. She gave him bread to eat every day- something I did not do. By now you know I’m not a fan.
Turns out he also has a gluten intolerance and after a while (it does take a few years- 2 to 3) he started picking up a lot of weight.
I honestly did not know what to do with him. I think I completely malfunction in this scenario.
I started dressing him in the weirdest clothes, we still laugh about it like it was yesterday. He was only like eight and I would put him in bootleg jeans, v neck tops and three-quarter pants/ shorts – it was crazy!
I started dressing his body and not him- once again!
The whole thing just exasperates me!
Fashion is the armour to survive the reality of everyday life – Bill Cunningham
I love clothes! I always have – and shoes! Oh my gosh! Do I love shoes!
Sometimes I even build an entire outfit around a pair of shoes I love!
So, I still buy nice things, but it just does not feel like myself right now.
I don’t have a particular style, I like variety, because it depends on my mood and the occasion.
But I do have an eye for beautiful things, and I mostly gravitate towards things that catches my attention immediately. If I must stand there and wonder too long, it probably isn’t it!
Or one could probably say, I see it, but I might just need a minute to figure out how I will put a whole outfit together. You know! Just do a quick visualization lol
The item would speak for itself, sometimes it’s the detail, sometimes the design, sometimes the colour, sometimes how great it would build a beautiful over all outfit and sometimes just reflective of a mood or a personality trait or an occasion.
So, my personal style is really feeling comfortable in my body and then dressing it with beautiful clothes – it can be as plain as jeans and T’s or a beautiful eye -catching occasional dress.
Whatever the day or the mood calls for
xo
